Gender Theory

My gender theory: Gender is a socially constructed idea to confine people to role responsibilities and an outdated method to dichotomize humans. Human emotions (and subsequently, behaviors) are fluid and not to be restricted to polar opposite boundaries.

Gender is something that should not be defined or assigned, it should be discovered encouragingly with an open mind and allowed fluidity.

The American society has historically misused the words ‘sex’ and ‘gender’ to the point of complete confusion. Most people are under the assumption that sex and gender align. If you are a male, you are a boy, if you are female, you are a girl. This is incorrect. A person with a penis underneath their pants and testosterone in their veins is not pre-programmed to assume the gender of a man/boy. Just the same, a female with a vagina and estrogen is not hardwired to identify as a woman/girl.

The people who choose to defy our society’s rigid and ignorant sex/gender boundaries are referred to, under the umbrella term, as “gender variant”. These are the people who are able to recognize in themselves the fact that they do not fit into guidelines pertaining to their identity. Gender variant people decide to deviate in some (or all) ways from their assigned gender (the one that is given to you when the doctor sees your sex organs).

Luckily the third wave of feminism has brought a lot of changes to the way we see sex and gender. Specifically, gender neutral pronouns have changed the way we identify others. In the past, we’d take one look at anatomy and decide whether to use her or him. This is a seemingly harmless act of thoughtless exclusion for the people who cannot, in good conscious, call themselves either or. Pronouns like them/their, ze/hir, and zhe/zher/zhim open doors to a realm of gender neutral possibilities and have been adopted by people who prefer or feel as though they cannot choose between the traditional options.

Sex and Gender, a Guide

SEX- medical, physical

Identifying words: male, female, intersexed

GENDER- social, emotional

Identifying words: man, woman, girl, boy, transgendered man/woman, variant/deviant, queer, fluid

Sex and Gender, a Scenario

Suzanne was born with a vagina, the doctors said, “Congratulations, you’re having a girl!”. Suzanne’s parents use the pronouns “she” and “her” when referring to Suzanne. Suzanne does not enjoy the selection in the clothing department marked for “Girls” and prefers activities the other kids at school say are for “boys”. Because of this, other kids bully Suzanne and call them a “tomboy” or a “lesbian”.

Suzanne’s SEX is female. Suzanne’s parents and the people around them decided that since Suzanne is female, they would undoubtedly be attracted to activities and items deemed appropriate for girls. Suzanne is, however, living proof that a person’s identity, preferences, and lifestyle (GENDER) cannot be accurately dictated based on SEX. Suzanne may grow up to identify as a man and take steps to change their body accordingly. Suzanne may grow up to be frustrated by the two (man/woman)  limiting choices and have others use “they/them” pronouns and call themselves “fluid”.  Suzanne may grow up to agree with and accept the pre-determined label “woman”.

Suzanne has options. Their sex was pre-determined (but can be changed through the miracles of modern science) at birth, but throughout their life, they have the blessing and curse to create their own identity, their own gender.